you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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