toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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