You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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