Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
