I need help removing her.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
