Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
