i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
