Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
