I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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