office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
