I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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