so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
