Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
