I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you would pick up someone in the library
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize