Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
