I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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