just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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