Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize