You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
