Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
