69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
