I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Can I color on your dick again?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
