she smelled like a LAN party
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
it glows. i had to have it.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize