there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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