i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
