I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
