I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
