I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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