Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
