He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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