We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
