dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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