Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
