i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
