Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
