4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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