i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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