I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
