I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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