I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
