Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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