i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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