sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
