i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
