this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
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