I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
