Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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