Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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