dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
