It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
