She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
