I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize