So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
