I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
she smelled like a LAN party
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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