I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
