3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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