you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
